now that i see what is going on, i was able to find the 360 differences documented here :
XBox360Notes for JEMS (Java Extensible Media Server)
so now the 360 pretends to validate my UPnP server and then it requests to Browse videos. the problem is it passes a ContainerID, instead of the expected ObjectID as a request parameter. this causes an internal exception within Intels core UPnP library. dont see any hooks that will let me catch and ignore that exception, so i think this is the point where i'm forced to decompile and modify the UPnP lib. almost through the plumbing and to app logic. tomorrows goal is to hack together some basic directory logic and get a video to play.